Winners and Losers

as told by  Kevin Spraggett

In Yugoslavia during the 60's and 70's one of the most active GM's was US. Dollarovitch. (Not his realname). A very likeable fellow, Grandmaster Dollarovitch's results were often very inconsistent. His rating was known to fluctuate from year to year,sometimes by as much as 150 elo points.

You see, Grandmaster Dollarovitch was not adverse to 'helping' some of his opponents. He especiallylooked forward to having to play those who were out for norms. For a small sum he would slack off his game just a bit...

One day, as Grandmaster Dollarovitch was leaving the city chess club, he stopped and chatted a bit with the doorman, Bogdan, with whom he was very fond.

Bogdan: 'So, I hear that you are off tomorrow to the traditional tournament in Warsaw. I hear that a number of young western players will take part. I wish you good luck, Grandmaster Dollarovitch! I hope you win the tournament!''

Grandmaster Dollarovitch: "Thank you, Bogdan! I will do my best, that you can be sure!"

Several weeks later Grandmaster Dollarovitch returns to the city chess club. He is dressed in a brand new silk suit and smoking a fine 'foreign' cigar. The porter Bogdan is very impressed with this display of wealth!

Bogdan: 'Welcome back, Grandmaster Dollarovitch! Congratulations! I can readily see that you have managed to win first place in the tournament in Warsaw !''

Grandmaster Dollarovitch: " First place ?? Oh no! I did MUCH better than that ! I came in DEAD LAST !!''